To Be Or Not To Be - Shakespeare

“Aajkal kutte bhi bahut proactive ho gaye hain”.. My friend mused aloud from bike’s pillion looking skeptically at a mongrel which was sitting majestically on his hinds and peering at every passing two wheelers. I was never sure if the dogs were trying to attack the two wheeler driver or the two-wheeler itself. Or it may be that he was just showing off. My assumption of it being a 'he' is not based on any prejudice or scientific research. I never had the courage to stop the bike and inspect the chasing dog for its gender. But since no human female ever tried to come after me on or off bike, I don’t see any reason why a non human female should. Therefore I have safely come to the decision that they are all ‘he’. (Many ‘HE’s are after my arse for good though).

Life has not been so good to me for some time. I got chased down by one sample of the species mentioned earlier. Fell down like a clown from my bike and got bruises. (Keeping them as souvenirs now) Three days back I was sleeping nicely when my dream about Deepika Padukone was shattered by my cell with its ugly ring tone. It was a friend who was shouting at a high pitched Opera voice about share market. I replied likewise in Opera. After cursing him for some time I jumped on the tv-sofa and with that into the bandwagon. Typical Indian middleclass. One pretty girl in a TV channel was telling something called "shares" is very good to buy and I followed suit. They all actually went pretty well. I liked them both. The girl and the shares. And made some 2000 rupee profit in 3 hours. Wonderful! How come no one told me about this share-thing before?! Then I bought all the shares that any girl on any TV channel mentioned. They all went down like Nisha Kothari + RamGV combo meals. Disaster. No trace of existence whatsoever. Of the girl as well as the shares. Now all I have is some godforsaken shares making a loss of Rs.2000 per share. What the hell@@#$%^

All girls are like this. You cannot trust a girl. They hide the ghastly thing behind their mostly nice faces. I have decided to turn myself into a misogynist. I will hate any girl who is above 8 years old and below 80. Except my mother, my sister, grandmother, cousins, aunts, friends, some other friends, house maid, Deepika Padukone, an acquaintance (of whom I am not so sure if it’s a girl or boy).. There are some more.. But this is the main exception list. The problem is.. The real problem is, whenever a feminine voice calls me and say “Hi …” I just can’t stop myself replying.. It’s like a disease. After all what’s life without girls.. That’s the best and worst part of being in a species with two sexES. Also having too many of them around. Just trouble!

Two sex or No To Sex – Frozen Sun

If you liked this, you might like to try my blog "The Great Indian Human Remote"